Death under 50

Cornwall - My cousin Rodney (on the left) with me.

I was out for a run yesterday morning and as I was nearing home the sun was rising up into the sky ahead of me. I had to shield my eyes for a moment but the warmth was sudden and beautiful. I thought about the Cat Stevens song Morning has Broken as cheesy as it is. I realised that as each day begins and the sun rises, none of us know whether we will get to see the sun go back down again. Life can shift and disrupt so suddenly, so painfully and shockingly. I’m not saying I am ok with this but I was very aware of the reality in that moment.

One of my cousins died suddenly on Saturday afternoon.

Rodney was 46, married and had three children. He was 4 years older than me. The same age as my brother Philip.

Death under 50 from an illness is hard to fathom and accept but, a sudden unexpected death when there are no visible signs of ill health is just bizarre.

I hadn’t seen Rodney for a long time but at the start of this year we unexpectedly bumped into him and (2 of) his family. They got to meet our boy and we caught up with each other briefly. In hindsight I’m glad that happened. As children we would spend at least some part of summer with his family. Caravans, staying at their house, a holiday in Cornwall and large family Christmas gatherings. He almost made me into a Liverpool FC supporter one summer in the eighties, he always had the best Nike or Reebok shoes. As a child he was kind of a hero of mine. I wanted to be like him. We spent a lot of our childhoods with each other.

But then as is often the case, everyone gets older, lives drift apart and when we see each other in 2020 we barely recognise one another. That’s life isn’t it.

Not many of us think about death under 50 until it happens close to home though.

Perhaps farther along we’ll understand why… we’ll see ya again Rod.